I've recovered my camera from the dark and noisome confines (I don't know what 'noisome' means, but I gather that it's not 'noisy' and that it is a common attribute of confines which happen also to be dark) of a discarded pair of trousers. Alas!: a day too late to record my rather delicious salmon-and-dill pasta. And you know what salmon costs, so some time this week you will be treated to the cheapest thing on our menu: the word-kitchen's Very Simple Pizza (Which Isn't, Strictly Speaking, Pizza). Think of it as the credit-crunch to my subprime-whatever boom. For now, though, I've got to rush off to see a show. Latecomers, my ticket informs me without any ambiguity whatever, Will Not Be Admitted.
So I'll skip on to the writing, which I prepared earlier. A new policy update had reached me from the powers that be here in Glasgow Uni. Apparently it has been determined that 1500 words including footnotes and bibliography is far too lenient a length for history essays; some students are still proving able to squeeze worthwhile analysis into a space which seedy internet dating services would consider insufficient and this will not do, it will not do at all. Therefore from now on all essays are to be submitted in strict haiku form.
Ah well: I must make the best of a bad situation. Here, then, are some prospective essays for the various questions according to the new rules. They can be purchased from me for £20 apiece.
Revolt and revolution
1. In what circumstance might common disturbances turn into violent revolt in Europe before 1850?
Customs violated;
Incorrect Christology;
Folk starving to death.
2. To what degree did the revolutionary movements in France between 1785 and 1871 share common grievances?
Lots; France was full of
Injustice; also, peace not
All that exciting.
3. ‘In the major European revolutions, violent repression by the authorities never worked as intended.’ Discuss with reference to at least two revolutions.
For the last bloody
Time: first you shoot and then you
Revoke civil rights.
Gender
1. ‘The Enlightenment created ideals of equality and individual rights.’ Why did it take so long for these ideals to be extended to include women?
How can I put this:
Well, recent research suggests
Men are huge bastards.
2. To what extent have concepts of masculinity gradually become more ‘civilised’ during the period 1500 and 2000?
I reject the term
‘Civilisation’; it’s a
Cultural construct.
3. In what respects did feminists of the ‘first wave’ (late 19th – early 20th Century) differ in approach from those of the ‘second wave’ (1960s-1970s)? You may focus on one or two countries.
Suffrage, good idea;
Equal pay, better; but best?
Essays on Jane Eyre.
The changing urban environment
1. How effective were the practical responses to the problems (social, administrative, environmental) created by urban growth EITHER in the period before 1800, OR after 1800?
Alcohol, smog, stench,
Child labour, overcrowding –
Glasgow’s not so bad!
2. Did the growth of cities enhance the opportunities for women in society?
Depends what’s meant by
‘Opportunities’, I guess.
(History’s like that.)
3. Why did urbanisation so often seem to make social inequality worse? Your answer should make specific reference to at least two cities.
The rich/the poor should
Have the decency to be
Rich/poor out of sight!
State-formation
1. Was absolute monarchy (before 1789) ever anything more than government by the elite, for the elite?
No, but then neither
Was anything else since then.
(Extra marks for Marx!)
2. ‘The transformation of “subjects” into “citizens” neatly represents the emergence of the modern state. Discuss with reference to at least two different parts of Europe.
In Britain we’re all
Apparently still subjects;
Ah well, never mind.
3. Why was democracy so fragile in twentieth-century Europe?
Raving demagogues;
Vast forces clash like glaciers;
Really not much fun.
Race and nationality
1. Is racism within Europe the inevitable outcome of the creation of colonial empires by the European powers?
Likely. As a white
Bourgeois, I am troubled by
Existential guilt.
2. Does the history of racism and of nationalism suggest the two are inter-connected?
Only as much as
Alcohol and drunkenness.
I mean, honestly.
3. In what respects have European concepts of ethnic identity and race changed since 1945?
Well, where I live we’ve
Chucked John Knox for Mel Gibson.
Shit idea, really.
War and Peace
1. ‘War made the creation of a well-organised state essential’. Discuss with reference to at least two parts of Europe before 1815
Clearly, Britain needs a
Strong army to defend our
Fleet, and vice-versa.
2. How successful was the ‘balance of power’ resulting from the Congress of Vienna (1815)
A century’s quite
Good, when you look at things in
The big picture, eh?
3. Why has Europe been involved in no major-power war since 1945, but has been implicated in a large number of other conflicts?
Because the Yanks are
A bunch of bloody cowboys
If you’re asking me.
4. How can the battlefield archaeologist contribute to our traditional historical understanding of warfare in Europe? (You may choose to discuss a broad chronological overview, or look at one conflict in particular such as WWI).
I hear if you do
This course in Honours you can
Fire a cannon! Yeah.
Spiritual and Temporal Power
1. Did the divisions created by Protestantism strengthen or weaken Christianity?
What with all the blood,
I admit maybe Gibson
Did less harm than Knox.
2. How substantial was the conflict between reason and religious beliefs in European cultural and intellectual life between 1618 and 1789?
Probably not more
Than that between flavours of
Religious belief.
3. How might the historian explain the declining role of Christian worship in some parts of Europe since the late 18th century?
Which parts? My gosh, you
Want pint-size essays, you should
Set full-size questions!
Historians know
ReplyDelete"Imperial measures"
Means quarts in pint pots.
Are you familiar with the work of the Skint Foodie, http://www.theskintfoodie.com/? I feel you should be. I can't do it as haiku, there are too many w's.
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